Friday, April 8, 2016

Day 10: Black Forest (2012) 1h 25min

I can't believe I rolled another SyFy produced movie.

If I learned anything from this film it's don't trust a German guy that hands you a crow feather and tells you it's a "ticket" to his "tour."  Once again horror logic 101 that no one wants to follow.  Black Forest takes the concept of "fairy tales" a bit too literally as everyone in this film ends up being pulled into a fairy realm where Grimm tales are real.  With a name like "Black Forest" I would rather it take place in the Dead Wood level of Mortal Kombat 2.  At least those graphic were better than this movie's.

We're treated to some interesting takes on things like Snow White where the dwarves actually cannibalize a girl in a way very similar to if you've ever seen the Tom Petty video to "Don't Come Around Here No More."  They don't cut her into cake slices, but the scene made me think of that.  We also have a Sleeping Beauty, Hansel and Gretel, Three Billy Goats Gruff, and Red Riding Hood pop up as main players here in this film.  Some sub ones exist but they're mostly illustrated by spooky skeletons covered in cobwebs.

The whole film revolves around a couple with a baby, two dorks, a doctor, and the girl that becomes the first kill via cannibal dwarves.  The group does pick up another woman that has been trapped in that realm for a long time, but picking up one while the others are dropping like flies doesn't help much.  Plus the fact that her appearance is the doctor's dead wife is unnerving.  We do see her true form at one point, and her face is hella busted.

The main plot is that when they entered this realm it was all a trick to get the baby and they're trying to get the baby back.  A CGI rabbit gets eaten by the CGI big bad wolf at one point and I cared more about that fake rabbit dying that the rest of this movie.  Almost everyone gets picked off, the one geek and the mom with the baby escape while the doctor stays behind with his fake wife.  That's it.  Everything else you can already guess what happens.  It's a concept done to death, but when it's done right, it's great.  Or, if you pick one single story then you can run with it, like Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters (it's schlock, I know, but I love it).  The fact this movie jumped from story to story and would occasionally follow someone other than the doctor or the mother made it too random.  The sets were great, but once a CGI element came in it's like a fucking 3DO game got inserted into the film.

I give Black Forest 1 Smoke hiding in the Dead Wood out of 5

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