Sunday, April 17, 2016

Day 19: Tale of the Mummy (1998) 1h 28m

Full disclosure: I barely paid attention to this film.  Not even having Jason Scott Lee (he played Bruce Lee in Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story) or Shelley Duvall could make this b-film a b+.  The story started as a typical mummy story.  People find a tomb, tomb is opened, bad shit goes down.  The bad shit in this case was the archaeologists being drained of their body fluids and one of them having half their face dry, crack, and shatter.  My interest was still in the film here.

So this mummy is apparently involved in the resurrection of or is the deity Talos.  When the body was embalmed there was an order to five specific organs taken out of it.  Now the mummy is attempting to get those organs from people and bring Talos back to life.

The mummy itself appears as one of three things in this film.  The first is a bad CGI floating ghost thing, with bandages flailing everywhere.  The second is just a series of dirty rubber resistance bands (for anyone that's had to do PT) that grab people and pull their entire body into things like club toilets.  The final is an actual actor in a costume.  The costume looked great except for the fact that the mummy had bandages going into his mouth which made no sense for a mummy.

The first appearance of the bad CGI mummy was when I tuned out, but I did watch the other mummy parts... and the end.... kind of.  So the mummy gets the body parts, takes this weird beefy alien form, and has a girl tied up.  Jason Scott Lee comes in and the girl tells him to shoot her so space mummy can't possess her form.  Jason does, but then the space mummy says that Jason is actually the one that has the spirit of the princess inside of him and it ends with him being possessed by Talos.

Shelley Duvall was just a random psychic in this who takes new age to a whole new level.  It's always weird seeing her in things that are not The Shining as that's my frame of reference in regards to Ms. Duvall.  Fuckin' space hippies.

Don't even bother looking this film up, it was butt.  Like two butts smooshed together, cheek to cheek, to make a weird giant butt.

I will give it a 1 Scooby Doo "Coin!" mummy out of 5, just because some of the effects were cool.

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