Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Day 22: Night of the Wild (2015) 1h 28min

As soon as I saw the opening CGI I knew I was suckered again.  SyFy/The Asylum's Night of the Wild is the equivalent of hitting your dick with a hammer for an hour and a half.  I'm not sure what the female version of that would be, but ladies, if you have one, it's that.

You never get explained the plot in this film.  There are meteors that break up in the Earth's atmosphere and leave large chucks of green glowing rock around.  Apparently these chunks emit a sound that cause dogs to go insane.  I'm guessing on this because the main girl's dog is supposed to be deaf and he's the only one that doesn't go nuts.  Like I said, not once do they attempt to explain what's up with the meteor chunks.  Hell, they don't even interact with them when they crash their truck into one.  Also, this movie takes place mostly in the day time.  When it's night all the goddamn dogs are sleeping!  Night of the fuck you!

There's nothing else to say about the movie's plot.  That's it.  Dogs that don't really seem like they want to be snarling at things wreck a bunch of people that obviously have the safety padding on their forearms.  That's the only spot the dogs attack!  For the close up shots they had one, FUCKING ONE, fake dog that looked like total shit.  Even for the half seconds you would see it you could tell it was fake.  In some cases it didn't even match the real dog's fur color.  Not that it mattered because they used the same kind of fake fur you find on cheap Halloween store props of rats n' shit.  I don't even need to go into the CGI on this film either.  I've had two to three other movies from these companies that I've already tackled on this blog.

Night of the Wild is bullshit.  Utter fucking bullshit.  Fuck this movie!

Night of the Wild gets 0 Dog the Bounty Hunters out of 5:

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