Sunday, June 26, 2016

Day 17: Archivo 253 (2015) 1h 19m

I was listing things in my head that irk me about "found footage" films, and I think the number one thing that really bugs me is who the fuck finds these cameras or tapes or whatever and survives with them? Most of the films end with a camera falling as someone is getting killed. So why don't the people that "find" the footage get killed too?

Archivo 253 followed the found footage format list bit by bit. We have a creepy location with a abandoned mental hospital where they not only did hydrotherapy and ECT, but exorcisms! We have a group of four 20-somethings that like to go and hunt ghosts. We have a ton of night vision camera footage. There is the obligatory jump scare early on where it was something that isn't supernatural. Finally, when we do see what the evil spirit or creature thing is, it is only for a split second. Spoilers on this, it looks kind of like Gollum from LoTR. I was unimpressed

Actually, I was unimpressed with this whole movie. Part of me wants to like it, but there really wasn't anything to hook me. I've seen a lot of these films. Hell, I saw The Blair Witch Project when it came out in theatres... twice! And Archivo 253 was really just a by-the-book horror film. I crave something new with this sub-genre of horror! Found footage at this point really only works well with things like the V/H/S films where it's a combination of short films put together. That way I don't have to deal with over an hour of your bullshit repetitive plot lines!

Also, what the fuck is the deal with the hair in this film? Did I miss something with the subtitles?! There is a gross fucking cistern full of hair and then their room looks like someone dumped a barber shop trash bag on the floor! Google yielded nothing, so I want it explained to me! Now! I demand it! It's fucking gross! He touched the sewer hair and picked it up! I'm done. Mexico can keep this fucking movie!

I give Archivo 253 1 video camera out of 5:

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