Saturday, August 27, 2016

Cut 3 begins! Day 1: The Vampire's Coffin (El ataúd del Vampiro) (1958) 1h 20m

With our feet planted firmly on the soil of this Mexican vampire movie, we're back for our third cut!  Also, much like our previous reviews, we ended up getting what I'm assuming is a sequel to the 1957 Mexican vampire film "The Vampire," and if not the story telling is really fucked up.

The quick sum up is this:  A doctor and his girlfriend/wife apparently encountered a vampire while on a vacation that is only spoken about in this film.  She is under her boyfriend/husband's care at the laziest hospital I've ever seen.  Another doctor our hero works with is studying something to do with skin mutations (I can't remember) and hires a goon to go steal the body of the vampire from his tomb so it can be studied.  The goon sees the token vampire amulet on our vampire and sneaks back in to steal it, but in doing so he has to remove the stake.  This brings the vampire back to life (stick with me pun intended) and the vampire hypnotizes the goon to become his man servant in what I assumed was going to become more homoerotic but I'm glad it didn't.  Our vampire finds the girlfriend/wife and keeps trying to put her under his power.  The whole thing leads up to a face off in the shittiest wax museum in the history of forever and the vampire gets speared to a wall.

That wasn't as quick as it could have been.

Overall, this film was a mess.  Being in black and white meant that a lot of the on screen acting was "stage acting" with over dramatic facial expressions by characters not speaking.  Also, they had the effect where the vampire faded away multiple times, but rather than use that each time they chose the turn the camera off, get into place, turn it back on method more often.  The bat was a rubber bat on wires, which I'm fine with, but they would play seagull noises the entire time the bat flew.  There's also a scene where the vampire changes directions in his coffin.

Worst of all though is the broken lore they try to pull with the vampire's reflection.  Every time they show the vampire in a mirror you just see his skeleton.  My fiancé tried to rationalize this point to me by saying that maybe it was showing his current form, since each time he was "dead" in the coffin.  It gets explained to us though as the UV light doesn't reflect off the skin so it doesn't have a reflection... but his bones do?  I feel like this person watched Dracula once, but then tried to remember how the vampire worked in that film and filled in the gaps with gibberish.  GIBBERISH I SAY!

I give The Vampire's Coffin 1 tacky vampire medal out of 5:

No comments:

Post a Comment