Sunday, September 4, 2016

Day 9: The Fog (2005) 1h 40m

John Carpenter has made some great films.  Unfortunately I never saw the original of this film so I can't comment on his version, but I'll assume it was probably good.  This remake I have renamed The Fart.

Quick sum up: Town founders were dick bags, plundered and murdered a ship full of people, then covered it up.  Now it's the present day and people are celebrating the founding of the town, but the ghosts of those on the ship come for revenge! In the form of a giant fart cloud!

Seriously, don't make your "fog" have a green tinge a bunch of the time.  Also, you go crazy on the CGI fog effect but use an overly obvious fog machine in other parts, and it looks like shit.  The ghosts were kind of cool looking, some of the deaths were cool, but I spent more time making fun of this film than taking it seriously.  Honestly, it was kind of hard to when they have the flashback at the beginning end with Fallout Boy's Sugar We're Goin' Down blasting as the transition.

As a personal annoyance (and because this is my blog) don't use the first chorus of a song and then have your DJ start talking right after it.  I heard what you did there!  I know where you live!

This remake might have been good for 2005, but in 2016 I found it to be more of a high school kid type movie more than anything.  You know, where a group of kids go and make fun of it, or where a couple go on a date and make out through most of it because the film wasn't interesting.  That's how babies are made, kids!  Teenage necking during boring film remakes!  BABIES!

I give The Fog 1 Shutterstock fart cloud out of 5:

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