Thursday, January 5, 2017

Day 8: Mine Games (2012) 1h 32m

You never forget the first time.  Unless it's something like your first birthday when the mind hasn't formed enough to maintain a proper memory.  Then sometimes you want to forget your first time.  Like the first time you accidentally mistook a fart and pooped a little, or the first time you masturbated dry and a bit too rough so you got that brush burn on your dong... am I right guys?

Mine games falls into the latter of these options.  Not so much like sharting yourself, but kind of like the uncomfortable rub of your sore dick on the inside of your undies.  While this was my first time watching it, I wish I could forget this cliche plot and the boring entitled characters.

A play on the term "Mind Games," (because this film involves a mine and poorly plays with one's mind) we follow a bunch of lame people as they go to a cabin for a weekend or some length of time.  I really can't recall.  On the way up they almost hit someone in the road and wreck their van.  Luckily the cabin is close enough to walk to.  Over time they find the mine with strange things happening including finding some of their own corpses.  Eventually they realize they're in some sort of time loop where the same events keep happening over and over.

Don't waste your time with this though.  The only good part was probably the last five seconds of the film where you see something happen to break the cycle.  The rest of this film made me just want to play the game Until Dawn which is slightly similar but instead of the cycle it has cryptozoological shit mixed with a butterfly effect of player choices.  Play Until Dawn.  Don't watch Mine Games.  Just don't.

I give Mine Games 0 Miner 49er's from Scooby Doo out of 5:

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