Thursday, May 25, 2017

The Host (2006) 2h

I like horror.  I like comedies.  I like horror-comedies.  Sometimes though you can tilt in one direction too much, or teeter-totter between extremes and it takes away from a film.  At the same time, this shit was two hours long so I guess if that's what they were shooting for then they really needed to pad it.

The Host has a simple plot, but there's a lot kind of going on so bare with me on this.  Set in South Korea, the movie focuses on a family consisting of a father in his 60's, two sons (one of which has a daughter), and a daughter that is apparently some sort of archery Olympian (or hot shit archery person, I don't know).  The father, one son, and the son's daughter all live in some snack stand by the river that the father runs.

Back in 2000 some buttlord of a mortician tells his assistant to pour a ton of chemicals down the drain because the bottles got dusty.  These chemicals get in the river and create some kind of amphibious monster that looks like a mix between a lantern fish, a lizard, and a Vaporeon (from Pok√©mon) mixed with the rad jaws of the Predator race.  So now, in 2006, this monster appears and wrecks the river side and supposedly eats the daughter.  Later the son gets a late night call from his daughter saying she's trapped in a sewer and this sets off the family on an escape from quarantine to find the child.

This could have been shorter, and it could've done with a lot less of the goofier shit in the beginning, but all in all this was an okay film.  The monster looked good, except for one scene where I think they rendered the monster in one program and flames in another program, and those two things were put together and were making a nasty baby.  The acting was good but the characters I didn't really care about.  So middle of the road.  Middle of the South Korean road...

I give The Host 2.5 Vaporeons out of 5 (so you don't have to look it up if you don't know):

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