Thursday, June 15, 2017

The Den (2013) 1h 21m

I thought that "found footage" films were going to be my worst film adversaries.  I completely forgot that there is a greater evil out there.  For I have seen the face of death, and it grinned at me while showing me one of those films that take place entirely on webcam/facetime.  Don't get me wrong.  I love when someone can take new technology and use it to make something cool.  But this... this is the devil committed to celluloid.  This is watching your own children die.  It's film genocide.

The Den is a website that might as well be Chatroulette.  Complete with pervs, dicks, trolls, and masturbaters.  Elizabeth gets a grant to spend a bunch of time on The Den in some form of shitty social experiment.  She starts to get cyber stalked for a bit before she ends up witnessing a murder on the site.  From there he friends and family begin to get attacked and murdered.  The whole thing ends up being some sort of weird network of violent murders that put the videos on some fucked up pay site.  Elizabeth ends up dead but only after she gets taken to some sort of underground murder space where people are kept to be murdered.

I wish this could have been scary.  It has the foundation of something realistic but rather than staying in the realm of everyday life it runs and jumps off the cliff of the absurd.  I'm not saying this isn't a possible scenario, it's just so intensely extreme that it makes it feel more unrealistic.  Although, now that I think about it, there have been a lot of news stories of large groups of people being freed from some crazy kidnapping shit.  Who knows?  Not this film, because its webcam/phone cam bullshit made this horrible to watch.  At least there was one cool sledgehammer kill.

I give The Den 0 dens out of 5:

Don't forget, you can follow us on Facebook at or on Twitter @30daysofplight

No comments:

Post a Comment