Sunday, June 4, 2017

The Pack (2015) 1h 30m

Australia is well known as one of those places where everything that can kill you pretty much lives there.  Land, sea, air, nowhere is safe.  So when people from Australia make a horror movie about packs of wild dogs then I assume they must have some insane steroid laced dogs using bath salts mixed with meth on their continent.

Unfortunately, The Pack doesn't go any further than a home invasion movie with dogs.  In addition to that, dogs are shit actors.  I'm pretty sure I mentioned this when I covered Cujo but you can't have a scary dog when the dog's posture is happy or submissive.  Just because you taught it to snarl doesn't change other dog behavior.

Also, this film isn't frightening in the least.  As i mentioned above, maybe in Australia it is but I was just bored through this.  Also, the daughter sucks in this.  She doesn't play any kind of major role but all she does is complain that she's stuck there and why can't she move to the city.  Mother fucker!  They're foreclosing on your house!  That's why you can't!  You need a job that doesn't rely on your parents or your parents' shit!  Maybe Millennials are the true horror... or whatever generation this girl counts for.  The fuckin' worst generation.  Damn, I'm old...

I give The Pack 0 adorable fluffy puppies out of 5:

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